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“We’ll take a large popcorn, a box of Milk Duds, and two glasses of your amusing house red.”

Don’t be surprised if you overhear orders like the above given at movie candy counters now that the New York State Liquor Authority has ruled unanimously that cinemas are permitted to serve wine and beer. The ruling also stipulates that movie-goers are free to take the drinks back to their seats, lending a day at the movies all the potential charm of attending an NFL game but with one difference: The guy or gal attempting to step around and over your legs while balancing a full pint will be literally in the dark. Leave your suede shoes at home.

Joe Masher, who runs theaters upstate that already serve wine and beer, testified before the board, according to the New York Post, “We’ve never had an issue in any of our theaters … not a single incident.”

I won’t say that New York City dwellers are necessarily less well behaved than their upstate brethren, but I submit that reports of purse snatching, fights, and other ugly incidents are commonplace down here without factoring in the variable of drunkenness.

If there is one positive in the new law, it is that hard liquor still will not be allowed.