'Hello, Hotline? I cooked my turkey breast according to instructions, but I think it is a little underdone.'

If you’re skilled, or at least lucky, in the kitchen, your Thanksgiving feast this year probably went without a hitch. But judging from some of the calls that came in to the Butterball Turkey Hotline, Turkey Day was not without its share of glitches for some American households.

The company receives some 170,000 calls annually from home cooks with simple questions relating to food safety, cooking temperatures and times, and the like. But this year, there were some doozies. Here are the a few of the funniest questions received by the Butterball help line.

How do you carve a turkey when all of its bones have been broken?

The caller explained that his defrosted turkey was too large to fit in the pan, so he wrapped in a towel and jumped up and down on it till it fit. All that jumping, of course, fractured every bone in the bird’s body. Look at the bright side. All of the caller’s guests received a wishbone this year.

I carved my turkey with a chainsaw… is the chain grease going to adversely affect my turkey?

As we said earlier, food safety is a paramount concern among callers. Here presumably the caller was concerned not only about whether the chain grease was harmful to consume but whether it would impair the flavor.

Can you help me and my friends settle a turkey-related wager?

In case you thought football and politics were the only things people quibbled about on Thanksgiving, here’s evidence that some Americans will argue about anything — even the cooking of the holiday bird.

If I put my phone in the turkey, can you tell me if it’s done?

It’s hard to know whether the caller was serious, but we sure hope so. It is comforting to think that there are people among us with that much faith in technology.

(h/t Inquisitr)